Much has been said in this blog about the difficulties that an infertile couple may face, but I am just an incurable optimist. It honestly drives my wife nuts from time to time because I just don’t get worried about stuff. It’s a gift and a curse.
Now, we did not start chronicling this journey as a way to bring sympathy or make anyone else feel bad. Quite the opposite, in fact. We began this blog as a way to share with others and raise awareness. The awareness is meant to help those who don’t understand the disease to be more empathetic and for education. In truth, the first and foremost reason we created this blog was to share our journey, in the hopes that we might help those who also struggle with this issue.
Since we began our story, more people than I could believe have come forward and reached out to us. I have had many friends, colleagues, family and even old mission buddies connect with me. It’s always amazing to me how many people are struggling with similar journeys as ours. What this shows me, however, is that it is important to have support. The more people I have talked to, the more I am shocked at how prevalent this is, but additionally, how strong my acquaintances really are. Some of my closest friends have confided that they have been trying to start a family for years. Some of them are new parents through miracles and medicine, and others are wondering still if they will ever hold their own children in their arms.
Certainly there are even more difficult trials to face in this life than this. But just as certain is the fact that, if you don’t have some sort of support, you will crash. Despair, uncertainty and doubt are always at the back of our mind and they would easily take control if we didn’t have our friends and family who care about us and pray for us every day. I realize that, at least for us, this is the one thing that keeps us going. Thank you to every one of you, with every ounce of sincerity I can muster, who has been there for us. Your support, suggestions, love, hope and help are felt very strongly, and we do not discount it.
Katie and I are sure that everything will eventually work out. We have had multiple experiences and assurances to confirm that we will eventually have children; one way or another. Burning deep beneath all of our doubt and fear and uncertainty is the opposite of those things. Our Faith. I am absolutely 100% certain that there is a living God and that He is in control. I am beyond sure that He loves my wife and I and that He has a plan for us. I know that He wants us to be happy, and that His plan is for us to have a family. No matter what happens, or what trials or diseases or infirmities may come, I know that He will provide for us and that He will ensure our safety and happiness.
This knowledge does more than just comfort me. It drives me. It pushes me forward on those days when it just seems like nothing will ever get better. It is not trite or cliché to say that my faith gives me the strength to endure. It is the truth.
More to the point, our faith is what convinced us to start this blog in the first place. We know that our story will have a happy ending and we simply wanted to document it for others to lean on. We understand the emotions that come with the territory, and we know that without the support of those who understand firsthand and those who love us deeply, we would not be where we are. We hope to share our faith with those of you who may have the same doubts and fears. As long as we hold to our convictions and our faith in God, whatever the outcome of our trials, we will come out on the other side as better, happier, more fulfilled people.
We find out in two weeks whether IVF is an option for us, or whether we will have to begin the adoption process. This is a huge crossroads for us and I, for one, am terrified out of my mind. I am scared beyond reason that the analysis will come back negative and that we will have the doctor tell us that “he is sorry, but there’s nothing he can do for us.” But burning beneath this terror is my faith in God and in His promises.
We have been commanded to multiply and replenish the Earth. Katie and I feel we are doing everything in our power to follow this commandment, even if it takes a very long time. My optimism is rooted in my faith.
I am an incurable optimist. I understand that, either way, this life is but a moment of our existence. I also understand that God’s plan for me does include my having a family. The Faith really comes with the “when?” question. I ultimately understand that the trials of this life only matter inasmuch as they are able to shape my choices and my faith. I am hesitantly grateful for these challenges, as I understand that there is a purpose for them. Patience is easier understood than done, but we’re giving it a shot.