One year ago today, Katie and I went in for our retrieval to start our IVF cycle. They got nearly 40 eggs, which was beyond exciting. However, it was a devastating failure on my end.
We were crushed. We wondered how it was all going to work out and why God hadn’t answered our prayers. Why, after all that work and money and stress, why hadn’t He provided a solution and held up His end of the deal? Not even one or two little swimmers? He couldn’t even do that? I didn’t lose Faith, but I sure was shaken and distraught.
Then our inspired Doctor told us we had another chance. After insane amounts of charity on his end and lots of phone calls and favors and strings pulled (and not less than a boatload of charity from friends and family), we had a plan. Three months later, I underwent a fairly invasive and expensive surgery at a fraction of the cost. They found 35 little swimmers. 35!!!
Fast forward to today. We have two amazing, beautiful daughters on the way and four more embryos frozen and waiting to become our future children.
If it had worked a year ago and they had found the one or two they were looking for, we would have had less than a 50% chance of ever becoming pregnant with one child. Period. At the time, we would have done anything for that percentage.
My point is that I KNOW there is a Heavenly Father above. I am so sure of His love and His tender mercies that I could never deny it. Call it whatever you want, but I know the truth.
Just when things seem the most bleak, and it seems like nothing will ever work out for you, is when He is getting ready to bless you more than you can imagine.
I am intensely grateful for our coming girls and for my Father who feels an even more infinite Love toward me and those two little girls than I can even imagine feeling for them.
Don’t give up and don’t lose hope.