Deciding

Deciding - Be Brave

Becoming a bride a few short months prior to my 20th birthday, I always assumed it was invetiable I would be a young mom. Because I’ve always wanted children, I knew I didn’t want to postpone kids for very long. But at the same time I was not in any rush to be in charge of a tiny human being’s life. I loved being newlyweds having fun with nothing tying us down. A baby? No way, not now. We’d have plenty of time for that later.

Jason didn’t quite share my point of view. He would have been ready–and thrilled–to have a baby right away. After joking with him that we could have a baby tommorrow if he was willing to cut down on costs by doing cloth diapers and him eagerly accepting, I realized I couldn’t tease him about having kids. I needed to mean it.

It took two years before my perception changed. Babies caught my eye more often and I started daydreaming about our own little one. A baby wouldn’t “tie us down,” it would be the ultimate accumulation of our love for each other. That child would represent the start of our greatest adventure. And I wanted to have that.

In early 2011 we had a discussion about starting a family. I was terrified but so excited. Though it was a scary decision, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was time. Jason was of course thrilled that I was finally ready.

We were right about our decision opening the next chapter of our lives; we just had no idea in what way. Looking back on that time I still have no doubt that we made the correct decision. Despite being childless 3 years past that moment, I still feel that our timing was flawless and we are exactly where God wants us to be. Though I would give anything to be a mother and the last few years have been filled with heartache, I know we will never regret that choice to start our family.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *